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Tips of Healthy Parenting

How Can I be a Good Parent?

There's not just one right way to raise children. And there's no such thing as perfect parent --- or a perfect child. But here are some guidelines that can contribute to help your children grow up healthy and happy:

•  Show your love. Every day, tell your children: " I love you. You're special to me." Give lots of hugs and kisses.

• Listen when your children talk. Listening to your children tells them that you think they're important and that you're interested in what they have to say.
  

• Make your children feel safe. Comfort them when they're scared. Show them you've taken steps to protect them.
   

• Provide order in their lives. Keep a regular schedule of meals, naps and bedtimes. If you have to change the schedule, tell them about the changes ahead of time.
   

• Praise your children. When your children learn something new or behave well, tell them you're proud of them.
   

• Criticize the behavior, not the child. When your child makes a mistake, don't say, "You were bad." Instead, explain what the child did wrong. For example, say: "Running into the street without looking isn't safe." Then tell the child what to do instead: "First, look both ways for cars."
   

• Be consistent. Your rules don't have to be the same ones other parents have, but they do need to be clear and consistent. (Consistent means the rules are the same all the time.) If two parents are raising a child, both need to use the same rules. Also, make sure baby sitters and relatives know, and follow, your family rules.
   

•  Spend time with your children. Do things together, like reading, walking, playing and cleaning house. What children want most is your attention. Bad behavior is usually their way of getting your attention.
   

• Appreciate the value of play: it is a child's work. Play is critical to all aspects of a child's development, but is often overlooked as a valuable tool. Play can prevent discipline problems, offers a natural way for children to learn, and is essential in the formation of a positive relationship between parent and child.
   

• Talk with and listen to your child. It's important to make eye contact and use gentle touch when communicating with your child. Give clear and consistent instructions -- but not too many at once. Remember the importance of non-verbal communication, and be sure to hold a child for comfort or to share smiles and hugs.
   

• Build your child's brain and body. Provide healthful meals and snacks and model good eating habits. Encourage exercise by being active with your child and limiting time in front of the television or playing video games. Support your child's efforts in school and provide opportunities to learn and explore by visiting the library, museums, zoos and other places of interest.
   

• Be your child's first source of information. Encouraging your children to ask questions now, makes it easier for them to ask questions when they are older. By answering questions from your child with honesty and openness, you can create a relationship of mutual trust and respect that can prevent your child from developing unsafe habits or taking unnecessary risks.
   

• Learn how children develop and know your unique child. When it comes to your child, the real expert is you, the parent. Know all areas of your child's development -- physical, intellectual, social, emotional and moral -- and remember there is nothing to be ashamed of if your child needs special help to progress at his or her own best rate.
   

• Cherish your child's individuality. Support your child's interests and talents. Try to spend time alone with each of your children every day. Praise your children's differences and avoid comparing them or asking why they can't be like someone else.
   

• Set your household up for success -- make it work for the whole family. Model and teach good safety habits and establish routines. Discuss and enforce family rules that work for your household -- for example, putting toys away after play.
   

• Make time for family activities. A sense of belonging is enhanced when families take time to engage in common activities such as having meals together and sharing tasks and responsibilities. Use family time to discuss need and feelings, to solve problems and promote cooperation.
   

• Take care of yourself. If you are tired, ill or just worn out, you cannot be an effective parent. Eat healthfully, get enough sleep, take occasional breaks from parenting if possible, and enlist the support of family, friends and neighbors when things seem overwhelming.

What can I do if I need help raising my child?

There are many ways to get good parenting advice. Sign up for parenting classes offered by hospitals, community centers or schools. Read parenting books or magazines. Talk to your family doctor, or a counselor. You can also ask your family doctor for parenting help. Don’t be embarrassed to ask. Your doctor can help you with issues like discipline, potty training, eating problems and bedtime. Raising children is hard, and no one can do it alone.

 What can I do when I feel frustrated?

 I sometimes lose my temper. Does that mean I'm a bad parent? No. Many parents lose their temper with their children. It's OK to feel angry, but it's not OK to take it out on your children. When you're really angry, take a break. For example, take your children for a walk or call a friend to come help you. If you feel angry with your child almost every day or have trouble controlling your temper, get some help. You might talk to your family doctor.

Take a break. Everyone needs a break from being a parent once in a while. If you have another adult in your family, take turns getting away. For example, have a family member stay with the children so you can visit friends. Take turns sleeping late on the weekends. If you're a single parent, ask friends and relatives to help by running some errands for you. Maybe they could watch your child while you go out.

CAN I SLAP MY CHILDREN?

Spanking isn't the best way to discipline children. The goal of discipline is to teach children self-control. Spanking just teaches children to stop doing something out of fear. There are better ways to discipline children. One good way for infants and toddlers is called "redirecting." When you redirect a child, you replace an unwanted (bad) behavior with an acceptable (good) behavior. For example, if throwing a ball inside the house isn't allowed, take your child outside to throw the ball. With older children, try to get them to see the consequences of their actions and to take responsibility for them. For example, you can explain to your son that everyone had to wait for dinner because he didn't come home on time. Explain that he has to stay home for the next two days and will not be allowed to play in the evening.

American Family Physician, March 15, 1999,  www.findarticles.com
 

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